Morning 5.15 AM :
My mobile was ringing. Somewhere deep in my dream my conscious mind helped to wake me up. I could not open my eyes easily but then somehow I managed to grab the phone to stop the alarm.
It made me confused for a while as the ringtone was not my regular alarm tone.
Finally I opened my eyes, and was shocked to see the phone icon on my screen flashing.
It was not an alarm but someone was there on the other side who was calling me.
Now, you can imagine if there’s a call before 7am or after 11pm, it makes you panic till you don’t hear the whole story. Right ?
And instead of whatsapp message if someone is actually calling you at such weird time, that means there’s some serious problem indeed.
It was my best friend’s call. I don’t want to reveal her name here, but say, she was Mitali.
What would have happened with her to call so early? Is her mother or father ….. Oh I could not even imagined, but bad thoughts kept coming in my mind till I picked up the phone.
“Hello ? ” I got up quickly and went into the hall. We talked on a very serious issue in her life where she needed my help to make a life turning decision.
I was caught in a dilemma, here I don’t have my own life sorted, and she wanted my help in her life to solve the conflicts that too at such a time?
Anyways, she was the one who always helped me in my difficult times, so it was my turn.
She was at the edge of her married life where she was about to end it.
It’s been few years to her marriage, and she realized that they were not compatible. And few months back, things took an ugly turn in her life.
She announced her decision of divorce to her parents, and was bombarded with a barrage of questions by her parents.
“What about our reputation in society ? Who will marry you again ? People will laugh at us. How will you live alone ? Who will look after you when we are gone ?”
She changed her mind and decided to give her marriage one more chance. But in vain !
Last 3-4 nights she spent completely sleepless…. thinking… crying…directionless …lonely…not knowing what to do, where to go, how to convince parents, whether to live in a dead relationship or walk out and reclaim life.
In spite of being intelligent, beautiful, well-educated and self made, she was afraid to leave that hell just thinking of what people would think about her.
I convinced her to go ahead with her decision of divorce when I heard all her previous experiences, which were truly worst.
She was happy to know that at least someone understood her, and not made any big issue of the word ‘divorce’.
She had already tolerated so many things that she burst out in tears and thanked me for the kind and sympathetic words for her.
I don’t know what would happen next, but hoping that she will get a happy life of her terms.
I admit that divorce is not a pleasant thing to go through. But I am sure that when two people have given their heart and soul into their marriage, they would definitely do anything to save their marriage .
Same way, when one demands a divorce from his/her spouse there are or there should be some valid reasons for it which only the couple understands.
I agree , we should try to convince both, to be together, especially when they have kids, but even if one of them is not happy with other, what’s the use of that marriage?
Why is divorce such a taboo in our society? After all what really is a divorce ?
Simply walking away from the person who wasn’t meant for you and ending the relationship which distressed you enough for long.
I know everyone believe in the institution of marriage. It’s all about love, trust, compromises, happiness and togetherness.
But there’s no point in staying choked in unhappy marriages.
Remember, just like a computer, you also need to restart your life. It’s applicable for anyone, anywhere and anytime.
If you feel that the life you are living has become completely and unimaginably different than you ever wanted, or
you have a constant feeling of unhappiness or hopelessness, sense of being trapped or
you are lost with no purpose or
when you get to the point where you’ve done everything and your life still isn’t working out;
it’s an ideal moment to create a clean slate and start over.
When you click on the restart button of computer, it wipes out all the data from memory and return back with a new state. Isn’t it ?
You have to do the same thing with your life. Just restart your life !
Forget and clear your dark past from your memory. If your mind focuses on the negative things that had happened in the past, your life will move in the same negative direction.
Forget all the dark side of your life; all the insults, humiliations, hurting incidences, betrayals, troubles, tortures, failures, break ups, bad-worst-ugly memories, guilt, mistakes or blunders.
It should not ruin you twice. Okay ?
Forget everything which was bad. Just keep the lesson learnt from them with you, along with some good memories.
You can make the road ahead more clear by setting a good foundation.
You are not less than anyone. Always have some inner dialogue with yourself which will boost your confidence beyond your imagination.
Get a fresh start on your life by figuring out where you want to go. Then, adopt small positive changes to gradually improve your life.
Just restart or change your diet , rearrange or organize your wardrobe, rearrange your room, set new goals, change some bad habits, try to ask for new work profile or search for a new job, start your own business, or similar things which are the same for a long period.
You need to restart your life in any area of which you need something fresh or new.
Extreme restart if you feel that you’re stuck in a pattern, you’ve been following the wrong path for too long, or your life needs a jolt.
Don’t forget, you are restarting your life to give yourself a chance to be HAPPY AGAIN.
It’s beautiful to see a new life from different perspectives, different colors. Right ?
So, to make the things right, restart your life !
33 thoughts on “Restart your life !”
Wow I loved reading this article..it was as if a friend was talking to me! Great work there!????
Thank you so much !
Well written kimaya..Really, at some point you are so frustrated that you don’t know what to do.. In that case, just move on, let all bad things, memories, talks go & restart your life by just doing what you like & what you enjoy..
Keep wiring good stuff..Lots of love..!!
Thanks Chandrala ????
Very well timed post. It can be daunting having to start all over again but also despite this, it can be rewarding and the best decision. Wishing your friend all the best for the future and that it brings happiness and joy for her
Thanks Jem ????
Great read! When we become our first priority everything turns out to be great. xx
Thanks Nilakshi ????
This is a really lovely post, sometimes it’s hard to admit we need to start over and taking those first steps harder than we can imagine. But sometimes we have to prioritise ourselves x
That’s true Claire ????. We have to move on and never look back to those darker past, and just restart again.
Got here from quora, and I’m glad to read this amazingly written post.
Thanks Newtan ????
Ma’am.. The same thing happening with me.. I am in a very big dillema now.. Don’t know why divorce is such a great issue In our society.. But here d fact that my family is supporting me and motivates a lot.. But deep down sometimes I really feel empty.. I want to overcome from dis.. Want to be the earlier version of my self.. Want to laugh and cheer each tiny thing.
That’s great my dear friend. At least you have the support from your family. Just don’t think about people. Frankly speaking,they have nothing to do with your decisions in ‘your’ life. Everyone deserves to be happy and enjoy the beauty of life in their own way.
Let there be oceans of happiness on your way. ????
Thanks Aniket ????
good advice.to one seeking divorce
Thanks Sir ????
Wonderfully written and well explained
Read at the right time when I am convincing my cousin to get divorce and start a new life with her children
Forwarded this to her as this article may influence her to take the right decision
Thanks Kalyani ☺️
Thanks Mayu ????
Thanks Chris ????
Thanks Ganesh ????
Very well written ????????
Thanks Darshan ????