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Positive Self Talk

Today, I am going to share with you one of my experiences which changed my way of thinking drastically and I understood how a positive self talk can change you from within.

And I will always be indebted to that weird experience.

Good boss is hard to find

I was at the beginning of my career. 10- 12 years back. It was a great company based in Pune and I was at a good profile.

As a youngster, I was passionate about my work and always wanted something extra other than my assigned tasks.

I was a huge fan of my that time boss Miss Charuta, who was a lady in her 40s and dedicated to her job crazily. She was leading a team of few team leaders and very few freshers.

As a beginner I got a chance to observe and look at her love for work, and many of her achievements, which made my mind very clear that I would do anything to be like her in the future.

But everyone in my company used to hate her. The main reason was that she was not married and with no such responsibilities back at home, she would never allow her staff to leave the office before the work get finished.

In those days, I think I was the only one in the company who loved to stay back in office, work hard to complete the given tasks of that day and then only leave to achieve the target.

Slowly I got a little attention because of my extra hours and timely output.

And finally my dream person, Miss. Charuta mam, got to know that there is someone in the same department, with little experience, who also work under pressure and work passionately for self satisfaction.

A phone call

After few months I got a call from the same mam, telling me that she has selected me in her team and I would be directly reporting to her in her next project.

She asked me whether I would like to work under her guidance.
Oh my god !

That was such a pleasant thing ever happened to me.

I was the happiest employee in that company that day. And of course, I said YES.

New chapter begins

All my friends and colleagues warned me, that working under her is not as easy as I was thinking, and I would learn it very soon.

I never understood their concern.

Whether they were really upset that I would get more pressure of work or because of the fact that I got a good report and Charuta mam herself had chosen me for her project.

Anyways. The real fun lies ahead in the story.

I started working in the new project, where I got into a new world of technology and its challenges.

No doubt, it was a beautiful experience; but it was too tiring.

Being in the research and development department, we had to make lots of experiments with the designs, hardware and software programming, test results, and again work on it if it failed.

Charuta mam had decided on a target and she was expecting a lot from all of us.

We were working hard to achieve the deadline, but somewhere in our mind, we were not sure about the success of timeline of our project.

But, I tell you, most of the time, wars are won if the commander is strong. And that was the secret for grand success of our project which was accomplished one week before the deadline.

Till then, full team had started liking her.
And I was so impressed by her, that I started seeing myself just like her.

In the success party of that project, everyone expressed their thoughts and reactions. Everyone gave credit to Charuta mam and she really deserved that.

I also mentioned in my small speech that one day I would be like Charuta mam and that her dedication and passion has created one more Charuta in this world of technology.

How it changed my life

Few months later, we got the news that Charuta mam was getting transferred to the further and complex project and out of India to manage some higher level duties.

I was actually saddened by the news.I wanted to see her everyday, as she was my daily dose of motivation.

As her last day drew to a close, I started to lose my confidence. I always felt, I could not achieve anything without her presence and guidance.

On her last day in our office, Charuta mam called me in her cabin. I saw her table was full of files scattered everywhere.

She was finding something in that mess. She allowed me to sit and requested me to find a particular file.

I didn’t get her, but could not resist. So I too started finding that file.

While looking into the files, she said that she had not liked my speech at previous success party. And was disappointed with that.

OH GOD !!! I missed my heartbeat for a moment.

I could not understand what the hell I said in my speech which made my boss disappointed. And that too, she is recalling it after so many months, on her last day.

Positive self talk
I started revising in my mind immediately whatever I spoke in my speech. But it didn’t make any sense to me after remembering too much that why she was upset by my speech.

Then, after that whatever conversation we had, in that closed room, made me whatever I am today, and I salute her for that.

Charuta mam was still busy finding the missing file and I was busy in finding that missing peace of mind which I had lost in that cabin.

“Huh ! I got it” her face shined.
What a relief !

I was confused that why did she call me in her cabin.

To search her file ? or for something else ?

and now as she got the file should I leave.

Thoughts were popping in my mind.

She ordered two cups of coffee for both of us. Still, I was unaware that what was there in her mind. I wished I could read the mind of the boss.

When the peon brought the coffee, she asked me, “Kimaya, in your speech you said that you wanted to be like me. Isn’t it?”

I was totally disturbed and lost in my own thoughts. And could not answer her.

“Yes mam.” But some external force helped me to speak.
“Why do you want to be like me? ” She asked.

“Because…” I paused.
“Tell me. ”

“I like your way of thinking, your management style, discipline and…”
“That’s nothing very special and unique. After a certain experience, every person achieve these qualities. ” She said while sipping coffee.

“But I have not seen anyone like you, so dedicated and hardworking”
“How funny. I can see the equal qualities in many employees” she was confusing me more by smiling at me.

“In fact,you are also the owner of all these. so why do you want to be like me?”

“Thanks mam. But I would love to be like you.” I gathered some courage to tell her.

This courage can be compared to the one when a man says “I love you” to the woman he loves. Seriously !!

“I thought you are smart but you are not. Sorry to say, but you are an idiot”
“Sorry ????” I was so humiliated and hurt by her statement.

I remembered everyone calling her as psycho and I never believed. But after that I had to believe.

The thought process in my mind was still going in the wrong direction and mam said,
“Kimaya, world don’t need second Charuta. They already have one. They want Kimaya. The original one. Don’t try to copy someone else. Be confident. I have seen that potential in you. You are enough for yourself to get motivated and shine like me. Love yourself first. ”

GOD !! Her words… awakened a lifetime spark of confidence inside me.

Positive Self talk
You know what ? I believe that Universe always communicates with us in various ways, and I got this lesson from the Universe itself.

I always thank GOD for giving me her as my boss at the very beginning of my career.

Positive Self Talk

That day, she told me a secret of positive self-talk. I always share this experience to those who don’t believe in themselves.

Many times I come across people or some of my students who always complains,
“I’m a born failure. There is no way I can get that job. I can’t carry that dress off – I’m too fat. Why do these things happen to me? Why am I so unlucky?”

If your mind is also filled with such thoughts; just take a pause, breathe and show yourself some love.

We spend a lot of time with ourselves and in that span of time, it really matters what we are feeding our brains. 

The internal dialogue and specifically positive self talk plays a massive role in your motivation and productivity levels.

Positive Self talk
When you tell yourself with conviction that you can overcome anything, you are bound to get a renewed sense of confidence which enables you to do your best.

If you believe in your capabilities, you will eventually see the difference it makes in your thoughts, words and actions.

Conclusion :

I am sure that you will experience the change, once you have a positive self talk with yourself. 

I dare you to be confident and replace the statement by my boss, and tell yourself frequently with your name.

World needs ‘you’.


22 thoughts on “Positive Self Talk”

  1. I have always said comparison to ohers will kill your dreams. We must believe in ourselves no matter what. The mind will play games on you with negativity. We must find a way to see the positive in life.

    Great post your boss was so right never try to be anyone else. You are special

  2. Now you have given the best knowledge you gathered to everyone . I appreciate the intention behind you writing this article. I ways take something back when i read your work.

    1. Thank you so much Leena. I really want to spread positivity and doing the same by writing little things, which may change someone’s life.

  3. Reading this was a dense amalgamation of reliving the past in the nostalgia of present….it reminded me of my English teacher. I was, and am still in awe of her knowledge which despite rather desperate attempts, I doubt I’ll ever be able to match. But her pat on my back made me believe in the importance of persistence. She believed us; and believed in us. She taught us the philosophy – words will transport you to the worlds far away… Her efforts, for me, were truly the blessings and guidance of an epoch maker. Thanks aatya..

    1. That’s great Janu. Everyone should get such personalities in their early lives to let them understand the importance of inner strength.

  4. As they say “People don’t leave an organization , they tend to leave their bosses”.
    Your superior plays a vital part in your commitment towards your job and growth.

I would appreaciate hearing your thoughts on this.

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